Back to Work

Today I went back to work (4 weeks postpartum). Adam Sandler singing "back to school, back to school" is stuck in my head now. Anyway, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I was busy, but not overwhelmed and I didn't doze off at my desk once! I have a feeling I'll just get right back into the swing of things as if I wasn't gone for a month. That seems to be how things are after Claire. This past month has been a blur and now everything is coming back into focus, back to how it was before Claire was born. I will still think about her all the time, but I thought about her all the time before she was born too.

Brad and I were talking about how fast the last 4 weeks have gone. He made the comment about how if she was here with us, the 4 weeks probably would have dragged on. We would be zombies right now from lack of sleep with all the late night feedings and changings. Although I enjoy my sleep very much, I would give anything to have her here and healthy.

After losing Claire, we have unfortunately found out that quite a few people we know have lost a baby. My great-grandmother had a stillborn daughter who was born on my birthday. How ironic! My aunt's first daughter was stillborn. My aunt has been a great support for me. She lives in Arizona and honestly we weren't super close. (That happens when you see someone once a year if that.) She flew out for Claire's service and as soon as I saw her I broke down. I know it was so hard for her to relive the loss of her daughter, yet she wanted to be there for us. It's amazing how experiencing a loss like this brings you closer to people.

I also wanted to mention this blog - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Blog. It's a great way to find blogs of other moms with angel babies.