Debbie Downer

So I feel like people probably think I'm such a Debbie Downer. This blog is pretty depressing to read. I started this blog to write about Claire and our journey with her and HLHS, but unfortunately there's not a lot of happy things to write about since Claire isn't here. I really really hope to have some exciting news and a new journey to write about in the next few months. Fingers crossed! On that note, I will probably announce my pregnancy on here almost as soon as we find out. I will be nervous but excited being pregnant again and will need to talk about it. However, in real life, we've discussed multiple times, and might not be telling anyone (no family, friends, etc.) about our next pregnancy until 16 weeks after we've had a fetal echocardiogram and have been told we have a healthy baby. It's too hard to "untell" people if we get devastating news again. Ash, if you're reading this, I'm OK with you knowing before others. :)

Despite what some people think (mother-in-law), we really are doing well and are not depressed. As Brad has said before "What happened is tragic, but we are not going to let it define our family. We will always love Claire and she will always be a part of our family."

I would like to write about some non-sad things today. We have finally joined the age of technology and bought iphones. I have had a razor phone, yes, a razor phone, for the last few years. I can't tell you how exciting it was to finally buy an iphone. Feel free to make fun of me all you want for that one!

One other happy thing is that we are officially and actively trying to conceive again! We are hoping for another summer baby. I know Claire is watching over us and I feel like I have a good relationship with God. I am confident that this next time around we will have a completely healthy baby that will get to come home with us. We will get to watch them grow and hit all of the milestones. My hopes are to continue this blog writing about our trying to conceive and pregnancy journeys as well as Claire.

Thanks for continuing to follow our blog!

9/11

Please remember. I know I will never forget. I can tell you exactly what I was doing when I heard the news. I feel like I'm a little more emotional than usual this year on 9/11. Maybe it's because I've recently lost someone I've loved so much, so I can relate (just a little bit) to what people went through losing their loved ones that day. I cannot even imagine what it was like there on 9/11 and the days after. I cannot even imagine what it would be like knowing that my husband was in one of those buildings or on one of those planes. I cry for the widows and the "children of 9/11." So today, please remember.

3 Months

I can't believe it's been 3 months already. I made it through yesterday surprisingly well. I truly think I get a little better every day. Claire's headstone was put in this week. What perfect timing! We went to see Claire tonight and it looks great. We feel like she sends us little signs quite often. Tonight, while we were visiting her, it started raining. We think she was trying to show us a rainbow again, but we never did see it.

Speaking of rainbows, 3 months was when we were told we could start trying again. Well, we've wasted no time. We decided that we're in the "we'll see what happens" camp. It's pretty exciting, but nerve-wracking. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high though. We know Claire is watching over us.

I'll leave you with a couple of pictures. And oh yeah...GO CYCLONES!!