Busy Day

We've been waiting for a few things regarding Claire, and guess what, they all came within two days of each other. The first thing we got was the proof for Claire's headstone and it was perfect! We decided to have "Forever In Our Hearts" written within two hearts as well as her name and birthday. I will post a picture when everything is all said and done with it. We also received a list of the people who donated to the Iowa City Children's Miracle Network. I was touched to find that people from my previous employer donated. I stay in touch with a few people there, but I didn't expect that at all. Last, but not least, we finally received the pictures from the photographer who came in to take pictures of Claire while we were in the hospital. Man, she was beautiful. It's so nice to have those pictures. Pictures are the only thing that we will have to remember all of her precious features.

I was so happy to receive all of these, but it was a lot all at once. It's like you're life is semi-normal again and then all of a sudden you relive everything all over again. We will push through, because that's just what you have to do.

The Best Is Yet To Come

So today was another sad day, my birthday. I would have loved to spend the day playing with my baby girl, but it wasn't meant to be that way. Instead we spent the afternoon at Brad's company picnic, which was a good time, then we went out for dinner.

My grandparents sent me a card that couldn't have been more perfect. I'll admit it made me cry. My grandma likes to underline lines of the card for emphasis. You know how grandmas are. :) But one of the lines she underlined made me smile. "Some of your best joys are yet to come." This is something I need to keep telling myself everyday. We will have more babies and they will be healthy and we will get to share all the milestones with them. Claire is our best joy, but there will be more to come! Thank you grandma and grandpa for the perfect card.

1 Month

Happy 1 month birthday Claire!

I've been wanting to post a picture of Claire for a while now, but was afraid some people might get a little creeped out. Well, I decided I don't care. We want everyone to see how beautiful she was. This picture is our favorite. It was taken shortly after she was born.



The hospital had a photographer come in and take a bunch of professional pictures for us as well. We should be getting those in the next day or two. I will probably post some of those when we get them.

Back to Work

Today I went back to work (4 weeks postpartum). Adam Sandler singing "back to school, back to school" is stuck in my head now. Anyway, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I was busy, but not overwhelmed and I didn't doze off at my desk once! I have a feeling I'll just get right back into the swing of things as if I wasn't gone for a month. That seems to be how things are after Claire. This past month has been a blur and now everything is coming back into focus, back to how it was before Claire was born. I will still think about her all the time, but I thought about her all the time before she was born too.

Brad and I were talking about how fast the last 4 weeks have gone. He made the comment about how if she was here with us, the 4 weeks probably would have dragged on. We would be zombies right now from lack of sleep with all the late night feedings and changings. Although I enjoy my sleep very much, I would give anything to have her here and healthy.

After losing Claire, we have unfortunately found out that quite a few people we know have lost a baby. My great-grandmother had a stillborn daughter who was born on my birthday. How ironic! My aunt's first daughter was stillborn. My aunt has been a great support for me. She lives in Arizona and honestly we weren't super close. (That happens when you see someone once a year if that.) She flew out for Claire's service and as soon as I saw her I broke down. I know it was so hard for her to relive the loss of her daughter, yet she wanted to be there for us. It's amazing how experiencing a loss like this brings you closer to people.

I also wanted to mention this blog - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Blog. It's a great way to find blogs of other moms with angel babies.